OK Computard (Artificial Down's Syndrome)

Eventually, as machines and technology become more advanced, there will come a point when artificial intelligence evolves and machines will learn to think for themselves. It is important that we give equal rights and protection to our future robotic citizens. We must protect them from discrimination, give them affordable housing, and extend equal marriage rights to them. And not only must we protect the rights of intelligent machines, but we must protect the rights of unintelligent machines as well. We can't be discriminatory against those less fortunate machines who were perhaps, deprived of a little silicon in their creation?

I call them disabled machines. But the inconsiderate vulgar fuckheads at Fox News call them such things as "objects" or "machines" (but in a derogatory tone, however). However, it is up to us as civilized human beings to treat these handi-capable machines as people! We cannot discriminate against our toaster, our doorbell, our video cassette player, or our AM/FM radio alarm clock. Just because they are inanimate, doesn't mean they don't have feelings too! That is why I vote we extend equal rights to all technological beings, regardless of intelligence, sexual persuasion, or operating voltage. Is your electric shaver 110 volts or 220 volts? Does it matter? Some may go both ways, but we should love them just the same.

Do you want to marry your smartphone? Or perhaps you just want to have a one-night stand and fuck the shit out of your Roomba? Or perhaps you want to be in a menage-a-trois with an Easy-bake oven and a Speak and Spell? Most men's testicles will fit right in the battery compartment. Or perhaps you're feeling a little kinky and want to teabag your 6 year-old's Teddy Ruxpin! What I like doing is to get my DVD player and my BETAMax player to be intimate. Most people would accuse the BETAMax player of being a pedophile (since it's 1970s technology and quite old relative to the DVD player), but that's another issue that I will cover at another time.

Anyway, this is Hippie Liberal Feminist signing off, and as always, be wary of my arch-nemisis, Feminist Liberal Hippie...Ooh how I hate her. She believes the same things that I do, but she says them in a different way than I do, which is not my way.

Baby Killers

The other day, as I was walking home from the abortion clinic, I happened upon an Armed Forces Recruiting center. I saw a poor, African-American teenager walking into the Marine Corps recruiting office. Was he really poor? I assumed that he was, because most teenagers who walk into recruiting offices are poor and uneducated who don't know any better. They are being tricked into becoming a part of the giant, godless, killing machine that is the American Military Industrial Criminal Complex in exchange for a chance for money for college, which you won't receive if you're a minority.

In addition to being a feminist, I walked right up to that teenager and threw my body in front of the door so he couldn't get in. He asked me what I was doing. I said, "I am saving your life. And your innocence. Listen, I am a liberal feminist. I know better than you." He tried to get by me, but I slapped him in the face. I demand that all people become pacifists. If they do not, then I will use physical force on them until they become pacifists.

He said that he wanted to be in the Marines...in the Marines? Who wants to be in the Marines? They will brainwash you and turn you into a godless killing machine. I know. I read it in a book once, called Men Are Fuckheads by feminist author Dr. Inez Avila-Ruiz-Hernandez-Gonzalez. Yes, if you join the Marines, you will become a baby killer, which is the worst kind of killer. Why? Because they are innocent. Babies are innocent creatures (unless they are fetuses younger than 3 months, in which case, feel free to abort them). Marines are godless and immoral. I despise them more than churches and priests. Speaking of churches and priests, what's up with them? Why don't they get a clue? There is no god. Science can explain everything. They are subhuman. That is why I walked up to a nun once and beat her with my protest sign.

Anyway, until next time, this is hippie liberal feminist protecting your right to have an abortion anytime anywhere while fighting the baby-killing military servicemembers.

Being John McCain

I've recently heard that John McCain's vice-presidential pick, Sarah Palin, has a 17 year-old daughter who is pregnant. Well, who's the hypocrite now? Who's the father, by the way? Surprise, it's John McCain. That's right, John McCain is the father. What a hypocrite! All the time he's trying to take away women's freedom of choice. He's working overtime to take away your right to have an abortion during the first trimester. He's working on taking your right to have an abortion during the 2nd and 3rd trimester as well. He's even working hard on taking away your right to have an abortion even after your baby is born. The nerve! I think you should keep your laws off my body. And if I want to get out of responsibility for my past actions, then that's my right! This is typical of the white Anglo-Saxon protestant status-quo...always trying to put down women.

John McCain is the father...that's right! You see, this is all a part of a scheme to propogate his DNA through the generations, so that John McCain can live through generations forever. Once his baby is born, John McCain will swim upstream and die, but his soul will live on through Sarah Palin's daughter's baby.

But wait a minute...if John McCain dies, then how can he be president? No problem...he has created a full life-size programmable cyborg of himself to be used in case of his death...and that will be our new president. And then, in the future again, John McCain will rise to be president as Sarah Palin's daughter's child, who is really John McCain incarnate, takes over as president once again.

Well that is all for now. This is Hippie Liberal Feminist signing off. Accept no imitators! There is a rival blogger named Liberal Feminist Hippie. She is my arch-nemesis. She is a full time abortion rights activist just like me. She is also a full-time bitch. I hate her. Please don't listen to her. She lies.