The other day, as I was walking home from the abortion clinic, I happened upon an Armed Forces Recruiting center. I saw a poor, African-American teenager walking into the Marine Corps recruiting office. Was he really poor? I assumed that he was, because most teenagers who walk into recruiting offices are poor and uneducated who don't know any better. They are being tricked into becoming a part of the giant, godless, killing machine that is the American Military Industrial Criminal Complex in exchange for a chance for money for college, which you won't receive if you're a minority.
In addition to being a feminist, I walked right up to that teenager and threw my body in front of the door so he couldn't get in. He asked me what I was doing. I said, "I am saving your life. And your innocence. Listen, I am a liberal feminist. I know better than you." He tried to get by me, but I slapped him in the face. I demand that all people become pacifists. If they do not, then I will use physical force on them until they become pacifists.
He said that he wanted to be in the Marines...in the Marines? Who wants to be in the Marines? They will brainwash you and turn you into a godless killing machine. I know. I read it in a book once, called Men Are Fuckheads by feminist author Dr. Inez Avila-Ruiz-Hernandez-Gonzalez. Yes, if you join the Marines, you will become a baby killer, which is the worst kind of killer. Why? Because they are innocent. Babies are innocent creatures (unless they are fetuses younger than 3 months, in which case, feel free to abort them). Marines are godless and immoral. I despise them more than churches and priests. Speaking of churches and priests, what's up with them? Why don't they get a clue? There is no god. Science can explain everything. They are subhuman. That is why I walked up to a nun once and beat her with my protest sign.
Anyway, until next time, this is hippie liberal feminist protecting your right to have an abortion anytime anywhere while fighting the baby-killing military servicemembers.
