Recently, Danica Patrick qualified for a pole position at NASCAR. Doubtless there are some racist, sexist, ignorant red-necks who think the only pole position Danica Patrick is qualified to attend is at a strip-club, but that is just so typical of the white republican (I have so little respect for republicans, that I won't even capitalize their name!!) conglomerate who elected Bush to two terms. They love to stereotype (which is the worst kind of action anyone can do) anybody who doesn't think, act, or look like they do. That is the basic composition of NASCAR fans. They are all backwoods red-neck creeps.
So when Danica Patrick started at the NASCAR 5000 game the other day, it posed a conundrum to the status quo. No longer could the announcer say, "Gentlemen, please start your cars." he/she had to modify the announcement to be sensitive to the needs of wymyn, children, and the disabled. Who to pick to make this announcement? And what would this individual say? Well, they chose wisely by selecting none other than James Franco to make the announcement. I don't know what it is, but there is something about this kid that I like. He is equal parts James Dean, Elvis Presley, and that kid with Down's Syndrome who played Corky on ABC's Life Goes On in the early 1990s. To start the NASCAR 50000 game, he made the announcement, "Danica and gentlemen, please start your cars." Very nice and diplomatic. Not what I would have said, but still, I like it. Why? It's because he said "Danica" first and "gentlemen" second, thereby giving Danica the slight competitive edge over the male-dominated conglomerate who devote their entire lives suppressing the rights of wymyn, the disabled, animals, plants, intelligent and unintelligent machines, the LGBT community, and the disabled again. This little bit of a head start was a step in the right direction to make up for centuries of oppression of wymyn by men. Also, he put Danica on an equal plane to all gentlemen. He basically claimed that all gentlemen are equal to one Danica. You go girl!!
What would I have said? I would have said this: "Danica and the white Anglo-Saxon Protestant male chauvinistic capitalist greedy pig scum fucks, start your fossil-fuel driven environment-kiling machines supported by greedy oil companies such as Halliburton who were ran by Dick Cheney and other Bush cronies who have sent millions of our children to their death by fighting unjust, illegal, and immoral wars in Afghanistan and Iraq!" Then I would have lectured the audience for the next half-hour about wymyn's rights and LGBT rights and how all military service-members are baby-killing war criminals. And for the finale, I would have demanded that they legalize abortion.
Well, James Franco, as you know, is the master of diplomacy. Much better than I am. That is why he is James Franco. I may be smarter, but he is the fresh-faced, slack-jawed, collar-turned-up, young upstart that is rapidly becoming the voice of a generation. I say we nominate him for the spokesperson of not only NASCAR, but of the United States, and all of humanity as well. In fact, I think we should shoot James Franco into outer space so that he can become the goodwill ambassador of Planet Earth! Then he can lecture our brethren from other planets about the rights of the disabled, wymyn, children, and the LGBT community.
Well this is Hippie Liberal Feminist signing off once again!! Accept no substitutes!! Be aware of the other blogger named Feminist Hippie Liberal! She is a full time liar and bitch. I am the real deal.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Pepper Spray Got Me Down
The nationwide Occupy protests have slowed down somewhat, but my passion for fighting the dispassionate, immoral, destructive, racist, sexist, homophobic, military-industrialist, capitalist machine has not. The CEOs of all these major corporations are evil, greedy, capitalists who would love nothing more than to enslave the poor working class just so that they can make an extra dollar and buy and peddle influence in Congress in order to further their own agenda. That is why I set a newspaper stand on fire in Oakland...to send a message to those bastards. Hopefully, the CEOs of all those oil companies and banks noticed what I did and thought, "Hmm. Hippie Liberal Feminist just burnt down another newspaper stand. Maybe I should stop my evil ways."
As a radical feminist, I love to demonstrate and protest pretty much anything I can get my hands on. War in Iraq? Protested it. War in Afghanistan? Protested it. NRA? Protested them. War on Drugs? Protested it. War on carpet stains? Protested that too. We are always declaring war on things in this country. We need to stop this madness and find a peaceful resolution to carpet stains.
I took part in the Occupy Davis protests last year. I was one of the victims who was casually sprayed with pepper spray by that cop, who is nothing more than a puppet boy for the cold-hearted capitalist Bush regime. Even though Bush is no longer president, I still blame him for everything that goes wrong.
Well let me tell you that getting sprayed by pepper spray was the worst thing ever! We were persecuted for our beliefs and for who we were! Now I know how Martin Luther King felt when he was sitting in that restaurant in Alabama in 1965!! I was so traumatized by this pepper spraying event that now I can't even look at a pepper shaker without bursting into tears! When I was watching television the other day I saw a performance by the seminal 1990s group Salt-n-Pepa, I began to fear for my life!! My friends say that I have PTSD and that I should sue. So that is what I did! I have deep seated psychological wounds akin to combat veterans that only more money can heal!
I figured that I would call a good lawyer and that we would lowball the suit at first. That is why we sued the University of California at Davis for 4 billion dollars. I figured that the students and I were entitled to monetary compensation for our suffering. Pepper spray in case you don't know is a potent toxin that kills 4 million people in the United States every year. Besides the physical injuries that I sustained, there are deep emotional and psychological injuries as well. I recently learned how to walk again after being paralyzed for 2 weeks. I am also learning how to speak again and learning how to laugh and love again. Pepper spray stopped all that, but I am coming back. I used to spend most of my days crying, vivid memories of students being mildly irritated by that potent toxin seared in my memory. But my friends said, "Be strong like we know you can be! Don't let pepper spray ruin your life!" So now it is so. I'm back, I've regained full use of my legs and I've defeated pepper spray. The cops (all of whom I think should be disarmed) haven't won, but I'll explore that at another time.
Until next time, this is Hippie Liberal Feminist signing off.
As a radical feminist, I love to demonstrate and protest pretty much anything I can get my hands on. War in Iraq? Protested it. War in Afghanistan? Protested it. NRA? Protested them. War on Drugs? Protested it. War on carpet stains? Protested that too. We are always declaring war on things in this country. We need to stop this madness and find a peaceful resolution to carpet stains.
I took part in the Occupy Davis protests last year. I was one of the victims who was casually sprayed with pepper spray by that cop, who is nothing more than a puppet boy for the cold-hearted capitalist Bush regime. Even though Bush is no longer president, I still blame him for everything that goes wrong.
Well let me tell you that getting sprayed by pepper spray was the worst thing ever! We were persecuted for our beliefs and for who we were! Now I know how Martin Luther King felt when he was sitting in that restaurant in Alabama in 1965!! I was so traumatized by this pepper spraying event that now I can't even look at a pepper shaker without bursting into tears! When I was watching television the other day I saw a performance by the seminal 1990s group Salt-n-Pepa, I began to fear for my life!! My friends say that I have PTSD and that I should sue. So that is what I did! I have deep seated psychological wounds akin to combat veterans that only more money can heal!
I figured that I would call a good lawyer and that we would lowball the suit at first. That is why we sued the University of California at Davis for 4 billion dollars. I figured that the students and I were entitled to monetary compensation for our suffering. Pepper spray in case you don't know is a potent toxin that kills 4 million people in the United States every year. Besides the physical injuries that I sustained, there are deep emotional and psychological injuries as well. I recently learned how to walk again after being paralyzed for 2 weeks. I am also learning how to speak again and learning how to laugh and love again. Pepper spray stopped all that, but I am coming back. I used to spend most of my days crying, vivid memories of students being mildly irritated by that potent toxin seared in my memory. But my friends said, "Be strong like we know you can be! Don't let pepper spray ruin your life!" So now it is so. I'm back, I've regained full use of my legs and I've defeated pepper spray. The cops (all of whom I think should be disarmed) haven't won, but I'll explore that at another time.
Until next time, this is Hippie Liberal Feminist signing off.
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