Go Go James Franco

Recently, Danica Patrick qualified for a pole position at NASCAR. Doubtless there are some racist, sexist, ignorant red-necks who think the only pole position Danica Patrick is qualified to attend is at a strip-club, but that is just so typical of the white republican (I have so little respect for republicans, that I won't even capitalize their name!!) conglomerate who elected Bush to two terms. They love to stereotype (which is the worst kind of action anyone can do) anybody who doesn't think, act, or look like they do. That is the basic composition of NASCAR fans. They are all backwoods red-neck creeps.

So when Danica Patrick started at the NASCAR 5000 game the other day, it posed a conundrum to the status quo. No longer could the announcer say, "Gentlemen, please start your cars." he/she had to modify the announcement to be sensitive to the needs of wymyn, children, and the disabled. Who to pick to make this announcement? And what would this individual say? Well, they chose wisely by selecting none other than James Franco to make the announcement. I don't know what it is, but there is something about this kid that I like. He is equal parts James Dean, Elvis Presley, and that kid with Down's Syndrome who played Corky on ABC's Life Goes On in the early 1990s. To start the NASCAR 50000 game, he made the announcement, "Danica and gentlemen, please start your cars." Very nice and diplomatic. Not what I would have said, but still, I like it. Why? It's because he said "Danica" first and "gentlemen" second, thereby giving Danica the slight competitive edge over the male-dominated conglomerate who devote their entire lives suppressing the rights of wymyn, the disabled, animals, plants, intelligent and unintelligent machines, the LGBT community, and the disabled again. This little bit of a head start was a step in the right direction to make up for centuries of oppression of wymyn by men. Also, he put Danica on an equal plane to all gentlemen. He basically claimed that all gentlemen are equal to one Danica. You go girl!!

What would I have said? I would have said this: "Danica and the white Anglo-Saxon Protestant male chauvinistic capitalist greedy pig scum fucks, start your fossil-fuel driven environment-kiling machines supported by greedy oil companies such as Halliburton who were ran by Dick Cheney and other Bush cronies who have sent millions of our children to their death by fighting unjust, illegal, and immoral wars in Afghanistan and Iraq!" Then I would have lectured the audience for the next half-hour about wymyn's rights and LGBT rights and how all military service-members are baby-killing war criminals. And for the finale, I would have demanded that they legalize abortion.

Well, James Franco, as you know, is the master of diplomacy. Much better than I am. That is why he is James Franco. I may be smarter, but he is the fresh-faced, slack-jawed, collar-turned-up, young upstart that is rapidly becoming the voice of a generation. I say we nominate him for the spokesperson of not only NASCAR, but of the United States, and all of humanity as well. In fact, I think we should shoot James Franco into outer space so that he can become the goodwill ambassador of Planet Earth! Then he can lecture our brethren from other planets about the rights of the disabled, wymyn, children, and the LGBT community.

Well this is Hippie Liberal Feminist signing off once again!! Accept no substitutes!! Be aware of the other blogger named Feminist Hippie Liberal! She is a full time liar and bitch. I am the real deal.