Everybody Must Get Droned

Finally, the age of mindless, soulless killing machines has arrived. Drone warfare is in full effect, and it's an evil strategy that was started by Bush. Barack Obama is trying to stop it, but as President of the US, you can only do so much. It's just like when the IRS was "supposedly" targeting political enemies of Barack Obama...which I see nothing wrong with by the way. His enemies were conservative Republicans and they deserved it. But Barack Obama said, in his defense, that he was "not aware of it." When he says he didn't know, he didn't know! You can't expect him to be responsible for everything that happens under his leadership.

The effects of the Bush regime are still resonating throughout the government, even almost 5 years after his end of term. His conservative legacy still lasts in many states. Recently, for example, Arkansas enacted a law limiting abortions to only before 12 weeks. I say this is an outrage. We liberals from San Francisco (but weren't born in San Francisco) need to storm the state of Arkansas and tell them what's what. We need to tell them what to do and how to live their lives since they are clearly incapable of doing so themselves. I say that we need to mandate that abortion remain legal not only to the 12th week, but up to and past the 40th week! And perhaps even beyond! I say we require that abortion be legal until your fetuses 35th year. That's right, if your fetus is 34 years old and not a successful high profile civil rights attorney like you wanted him to be, then it's time to take your fetus on a trip to Unplanned Parenthood and have him visit Mr. Vacuum Cleaner.

But the drone debate is heating up. Drones are killing innocent wymyn and chyldryn in Afghanistan and Pakistan. But yet these are the same people who are seeking to stop abortions and a wymyn's right to choose because they ironically call themselves "pro-life". If they are so pro-life, then how can they support the mass murder of innocent children?

The drone controversy however, took another curious turn when Barack Obama recently spoke out in defense of drones. Now that Barack Obama has spoken out in defense of drones, this has forced me to re-evaluate my opinion. Because whatever Obama says, I do. So because Obama thinks that drones aren't all bad, now I don't think they're all bad. I think drones do have some potential, especially when it comes to protecting wymyn's rights. That's why I think we should re-program drones to perform abortions.

That's why I propose we install drones not with smart bombs or remote control bombs, but with a new abortion technique that I copyrighted called "Baby Blaster". I say we retrofit drones not with missiles or bombs that murder innocent wymyn and chyldryn, but with laser beams that perform abortions. In other words, I propose we use drones to commit abortions. This is a peaceful use for drones.

As always, this is Hippie Liberal Feminist signing off...